What People Pleasing Looks Like and How to Break Free.
In this blog, we're diving deep into a topic that resonates with so many women: people pleasing. Whether you're juggling work, relationships, or family drama, this cycle of self-sacrifice can leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and stuck. But here's the truth: you don’t need to be the world's most likable woman to be valuable.
What Is People Pleasing?
People pleasing goes beyond saying “yes” when you want to say “no.” It’s about shrinking yourself to keep others happy. It’s exhausting, disempowering and leaves you drained. As women, especially in our late 20s, it can feel like life is a never-ending audition for approval. But guess what? That’s not the truth—and it’s time to break the cycle.
Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser
Here are five common ways people pleasing shows up in everyday life:
The Chronic Yes-Woman
You say yes to every project, favour or invitation, even when you're completely overwhelmed. Saying no feels impossible—like you're doing something wrong.Conflict Avoidance
You’d rather eat a cold meal at a restaurant than send it back, just to avoid inconveniencing someone else.The Excessive Apologizer
"Sorry" is your go-to phrase, even when someone else bumps into you. You find yourself apologising for simply existing.The Over-Accommodator
You change your plans, preferences or opinions to align with others, losing sight of what you truly want.The Emotional Exhaustor
You take on the weight of everyone else's emotions, responsibilities and drama, leaving no energy for yourself.
If any of these sound familiar, know you’re not alone. People pleasing is common, but it doesn’t have to define you.
Why Do We People Please?
People pleasing often starts in childhood. Maybe you were taught to be the "good girl" or the peacekeeper in a chaotic family. Perhaps conflict felt unsafe, so you learned to smooth things over to survive. Society also plays a role—women are praised for being accommodating and punished for being assertive.
The problem? People pleasing doesn’t just rob you of time and energy—it takes away your preferences, your voice and your boundaries.
Breaking Free from People Pleasing
The good news? You can break free from this exhausting cycle. It starts with awareness. Ask yourself these questions:
What am I saying yes to that I don’t actually want?
Where am I over-apologising?
What emotions am I carrying that aren’t mine to hold?
Start small. Try saying, “I’ll think about it,” instead of automatically agreeing to something. Allow awkward silences to linger when you feel the urge to apologise unnecessarily.
As you step out of the people-pleasing role, incredible changes happen. You’ll regain your time, energy, and peace of mind. You’ll start saying “yes” to yourself—and your relationships will improve because they’re built on mutual respect, not sacrifice.
Ready to Reclaim Your Power?
If you’re tired of people pleasing and want to set boundaries that stick, I’ve got something exciting for you. Next Wednesday (Jan 15th 2025), I’m launching The Good Girl’s Liberation Guide. This fun and eye-opening course will help you:
Understand what boundaries are and how to set them.
Communicate your needs with confidence and without guilt.
Stop people pleasing and start living in your power.
It’s your first step toward a life that feels authentically yours.
Take the First Step
Are you ready to break free from people pleasing and reclaim your time, energy, and confidence? Don’t wait—your boundary journey starts now.
Make sure to follow Your Boundary Bestie on your favourite podcast platform for weekly insights, tips and humour to help you on this journey. And stay tuned for The Good Girl’s Liberation Guide—your ticket to a happier, healthier, and more authentic life.
You’ve got this, Bestie.
Christie-Lee xx