The Real Reason You’re So Frustrated (and What to Do About It)
Ever catch yourself thinking:
“This is so annoying.”
“Why would they do that?”
“It’s just common sense!”
You’re not alone. Frustration is a shared language, especially among women who overgive, stay quiet, or expect others to read their minds. But here’s the hard truth: your frustration? It's probably your responsibility.
Let’s unpack that.
You Expect People to Know What You Never Told Them
Silent expectations are dangerous. You assume people “should just know” how you feel, what you need, or what crosses the line—but if you haven’t clearly communicated that, how could they?
We love to overestimate other people’s emotional intelligence. But not everyone has walked through trauma, developed high emotional awareness, or learned how to read body language like you have. Expecting people to match your depth without teaching them how? That’s a recipe for resentment.
Your Communication Isn’t Landing
Maybe you have tried to say something. But did you consider how the other person best receives information?
Take my partner, for example. I love deep chats. He loves fart jokes. So if I want him to really hear something serious, I meet him in his world. No, this won’t work in every context (I’m not dropping toilet humour in a boardroom), but the point stands: good communication is about speaking their language—not just yours.
Boundaries Without Words = Bitterness
We often punish people for crossing invisible boundaries. You think, they should’ve known not to do that. But did you ever actually say it out loud?
Bitterness grows in the silence where boundaries should’ve lived. And often, it shows up not in rage—but in sarcasm, shutdowns, or slow withdrawal. If that’s you, it’s time to get honest: what boundary did you expect them to follow, and did you clearly set it?
You’re Giving to Get (Even If You Don’t Realise It)
Mel Robbins said it best: a true gift is given without the expectation of something in return. But many of us give our time, energy, and emotional labour hoping for something back—attention, effort, peace, or even just acknowledgment.
And when we don’t get it? Enter frustration. But again, that’s on us. When we give in hopes of receiving, we’re not being generous—we’re bargaining silently.
You Taught Them to Treat You This Way
Here’s a hard but freeing truth: you trained people how to treat you. And if you’re not okay with how that’s going, you can retrain them.
Yes, it takes time.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable.
But just like you tolerated behaviour that didn’t serve you, you can now introduce new standards that do.
And if they don’t get on board? It might be time to reassess the relationship altogether.
Stop Being Everything for Everyone
If you’re drowning in your own life and still pouring from your cup to serve others, you’re not a hero—you’re on the edge of burnout. When you push past your boundaries and no one meets you halfway, you’re not just exhausted, you’re bitter.
You can’t be disappointed by others when you haven’t shown up for yourself first.
Ready to Speak Up Without the Spirals?
Your frustrations are valid. But if they keep repeating, it’s time to look at your part.
🎯 Want help saying the things you need to say—without the emotional hangover?
💬 Grab the Words That Work: Conversation Cheat Sheet — a no-fluff guide to speaking up, setting boundaries, and having better conversations for just $39.
👉 Get it here.