How to Say What You Mean Without Spiralling Into Shame

So, how do we start saying what we mean without the fear hangover afterwards? Here’s what I teach my clients:

1. Anchor in Your WHY

You’re not being difficult — you’re being honest.
Ask yourself:

• Why is this important to me?

• What value or feeling am I protecting?

When you’re grounded in your why, you stop chasing validation and start owning your voice.

2. Drop the Disclaimers

Ditch the “sorry, but…”
Replace it with “actually…” or “thank you for waiting.”

Here’s a magic shift:
Instead of: “Sorry I’m late.”
Say: “Thank you for waiting.”

It’s no longer self-blame — it’s grounded gratitude.
It shifts the power dynamic back into your hands.

3. Use Grounded Language

Try these phrases on for size:

• “Here’s where I stand…”

• “What I’m available for is…”

• “This matters to me because…”

These phrases are direct and respectful.
They let you communicate clearly without over-explaining, shrinking, or spiralling.

Reminder: You’re Not a Bitch for Having Boundaries

You are a woman who values her voice, her peace, and her presence.
You are allowed to take up space.
You’re allowed to say no.
You’re allowed to ask for what you need.

Next time you feel the urge to shrink your truth to protect someone else’s comfort — remember:
Kindness and clarity can coexist.

Say it scared.
Say it messy.
Just stop swallowing your truth.

And if someone popped into your head while reading this — yep, they probably need to hear it too. Send this their way.

Until next time, stay strong besties 💌