Stop Rehearsing Conversations in Your Head: How to Trust Yourself and Let Go of Over-Preparing
Stop Rehearsing Conversations in Your Head: How to Trust Yourself and Let Go of Over-Preparing
Do you ever find yourself having full-blown arguments or practicing entire conversations with someone who's not even there? Maybe you're driving, talking to yourself in the rearview mirror, or standing in the shower, rehearsing how you’ll respond in a situation that will never happen.
Sound familiar? Trust me, you're not alone. We've all been there. You’ve probably caught yourself mentally running through the conversation, thinking you’ll be so prepared when it actually happens. But here’s the thing: Over-preparing is low-key draining your energy, and it’s draining your confidence too.
When we rehearse conversations, we feel safer. It’s like we have control over what’s going to happen. If I say this, they'll say that, then I’ll say this in return. But guess what? People rarely follow the script, and it ends up being way more frustrating than we anticipated. So, why do we do it?
Why Your Brain Does This:
Rehearsing conversations is your nervous system trying to protect you from perceived danger. If you think something is going to make you feel anxious, angry, or upset, your brain starts mentally preparing you for what you think is coming. The truth is, you’re not trusting yourself in the unknown. You’re not trusting that you'll be okay, no matter what happens in the conversation.
How to Let Go of Over-Preparing:
Anchor in Your Intention: Instead of worrying about saying everything perfectly, ask yourself: What is my intention for this conversation? What do I want to achieve from this exchange? By shifting the focus away from perfection, you stop obsessing over the "right" thing to say and start thinking about what you want to communicate in a real and authentic way.
Trust Yourself: We often rehearse because we don’t trust ourselves to handle the unknown. But here’s the thing: You’ve handled every tough conversation in your life up until this point. You’ll handle the next one too. You don’t need a script. Your natural self is enough.
Stop Trying to Control the Outcome: No one ever sticks to the script. People surprise you, they go off-book, and they say things you didn’t anticipate. And that’s okay. You don’t need to control every detail. Let go of the need to rehearse. Instead, show up with your authentic self, ready to be messy, human, and real.
Be Real and Let Go of Perfection: Conversations don’t need to be perfect. In fact, the more real and messy they are, the better. If you're constantly curating a conversation in your head, you’ll miss the opportunity to show up authentically. It’s time to trust yourself and let go of rehearsing. Say it messy. Say it real.
The Takeaway:
You don’t need to rehearse to be heard. Your voice is enough, and it’s human. There’s no need for perfection. So the next time you catch yourself rehearsing, pause, and remember: You don’t need a script. You need intention, authenticity, and trust in yourself.